Tell the world you love.
Here's a poem from that notebook.
Before It Was
Then, all the constellations worked properly,Bidding and forbidding, plotting the lovelives of men.
Some things, of course, were still left to chance
Like fashion and invention-- all according to plan,
Everything in its place. Everything was happy,
Everything was sensible, everyone danced wonderfully.
Surprise and astonishment were scheduled at
Three and nine o'clock every day. We lacked
Nothing, not even lack. I even recall David saying,
"Everything is perfect and that makes me miserable.
I'm only happy when I'm miserable. That makes me miserable.
I am so happy." You see?
Even David was content. And his dancing was stunning.
The dogs walked in brigades, in lanes
The city reserved exclusively for their martial art.
The light was imported from Spain and Morroco
And poured generously from huge ladles immediately before noon.
When night (posted hours: 8 PM - 5 PM punched in and started its shift,
The children stopped their billiards and picked up their darts
Which they threw at the lightning bugs, disrupting their telegraphy,
Who, disgruntled, would picnic on the moon.
This happened each day. This happened every day.
The Zodiac ticked on, powered only by math.
I don't recall when the children stopped
Throwing their darts, nor when they disappeared.
Just one day, you know, a suddenness filled my heart
When I found myself alone in night, alone in the heat
Awaiting the nine o'clock moon, the schedule to re-start
Its schedule. Had the stars slipped a gear?
I felt off-balance. Was magnetic north
Moved again? I felt as if two or three inches
Had been borrowed from my left leg by my right,
Making my walks circular, making me walk
Like a peg-legged pirate used for compass and chalk.
What was going on? Why all this metaphor?
And then it was day, at least a day early.
Everything was wrong but nobody noticed
That the world had suffered some head injury
And was stumbling, confused. The moon became shy
And the constellations retreated. David said,
"I am miserable and I do not care if I am miserable
Or happy or dead or whatever. Something's
Changed and I don't know what it is.
I've forgotten to notice. I've lost it.
I've lost something important and I've lost its loss."
'
